‘Married well’ is a phrase often used to describe marrying someone who has money and enough of it to ‘keep’ you in a particular lifestyle. I was listening to an LBC radio presenter recently, who suggested she could send her kids to private school, because she had ‘married well’….Well It got me thinking.
I didn’t marry my husband for financial gain but I was attracted to the fact that he had drive, was ambitious and a go getter. Those were qualities I was attracted too. Those were qualities that I knew would ensure we would always have food on the table. Whether the food would be baked beans or caviar only God knew but I knew we’d be eating. I knew I couldn’t go wrong with a driven man.
As a reformed woman I place more value on matters of the heart and soul to decide whether ‘I married well’, so hears what.
I married well because….
My husband places my happiness over his own.
My husband understands sometimes dinner has to be pizza and chips from the oven.
My husband tells me I’m beautiful when I’m sporting a head scarf that’s seen better days knowing my hair underneath it has also seen better days.
My husband will stay up with a sick child till 2am so that I can sleep.
My husband holds my hands to pray after a fight, being the better person and often saying sorry first even when I’m in the wrong. (I have more issues than him).
I could go on and on but embarrassingly once upon a time I would have said I want to marry well and would have meant I was looking for that ‘paper’ that ‘coin’ that ‘car’. I’d be looking at your shoes, your mode of transport, where you lived -all things that would give me an indication of how far your money stretched. How naive, how stupid of me! I fell for a few after seeing the ‘money indicators’ only to to find out ‘his’ car was a rental and the swanky apartment actually belonged to a friend. Dang! Some ‘money indicators’ I fell for even got me visiting them in jail. Be careful.
Hhhmmm. Life teaches you as quickly as you want it to. I’d like to say I took the fast track course but unfortunately I took the scenic route and repeated silly mistakes again and again. Looking for a guy to ‘save’ me. I’d have been better off saving myself before picking up a guy that needed saving too. Now we’re both drowning.
Oh young girl out there. I’m sure you’re smarter than I was but can I just suggest? Be your own indicator of how much ‘financial freedom’ you’re going to have in your life. Have high standards, educate yourself, go for your dreams, seek the Lord. When you meet a guy with those same values, the two of you will reach the stars. I’d rather you see your future husband immersed in the word of God, than immersed in what the bible says the ‘love’ of, is the root of all evil. Sure money is a necessity and sweetens many a day but it should not be our mitigating factor in choosing a life partner.
1 Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.NLT
Then you can say – I married well because your love together will ride storms and take the heat that no fancy car or designer clothes could ever handle. Red bottom shoes but getting red letter bills- I don’t think so. Change your desire to things that the bible says ‘moth and rust cannot corrupt’. The Spiritual things and see God’s hand and unmatchable favour all up in your life. Taking you and him places that money could never grant access to.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.KJV