I’m fly again

When I met you I was fly, no one needed to tell me, my reflection made me high and it was before Twitter and FB. 

I caught you with ease in minute you were my man but as tight as I held you you’d slip away like sand from my hand. 

I was caught in your galaxy felt like a ghetto star but sooner rather than later I was from Venus and you clearly were from Mars. I would drive around in your fancy cars knowing that at home we didn’t even have cash saved in jars.. 

Priorities all wrong Just living for others to see, happy for them to see you but you didn’t see me. 

I’d look at people at the bus top looking at me in your car with the tints and expensive wheels, thinking don’t envy me in my fake luxury you with your travel card are better off than me. 

 

I’m was with a man who favoured raves over romance and mind games over marriage, infidelity over fidelity and lies over our love. 

No seriously I was with that man who had other women in my bed with her draws turning up in my drawers…completely messing with my head, so don’t you envy my looks or my then size 8 frame. I was tied to a man who didn’t want me to have his last name. I was with a man who degraded me to despair so please don’t envy me with my nails and my freshly did hair. 

Truth is years from now your gonna see me I’ll be wearing all black. No not that one smiling and thinking she all that. 

No! I’m the one with that black kangol hat pushed on my head so far down hiding the fact I had long since drowned. Nothing to see here, nothing to live for, he skilfully took away who I was before. 

I’ll be the one hovering at the platform edge on the metropolitan line, don’t worry I won’t jump- I’m just fine. I’m thinking about it. I’m desperate you see and think death and her company would be better for me. 

He didn’t even notice the change and denied every call I got from her and her telling me this was all a game. I was in a drama I never auditioned for. But to you I’d still say those vows for richer for poorer. 

I’m grown now 37 to be exact. Your memory exists only for reflection and to give myself a pat on the back. I made it. I didn’t jump. The kangol hat has gone. I made a step out of the mess and with every step I grew strong.

Young woman learn from me and be braver than me. Get out before his love becomes lies and destroys you. You can be anything you want to be. Don’t hand your destiny over to a man who fails you repeatedly. I won and you can too. Rise up queen I got you. 


As always V …😘

2 thoughts on “I’m fly again

  1. Angelica

    Love these word so inspiring it really touch me thanks for those words sometimes am going through stuff and a wish a did have someone to talk to and share with again nice words and amen🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

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