Me and the mister are TOTAL OPPOSITES! Always have been and hopefully always will be, because it’s what makes us work. It goes beyond the obvious of our appearance or where our cultural heritage lies. (His in Ghana and Nigeria and mine in Dominica and Grenada). We are simply fire and water, hot head versus calm head, seen and not heard versus shut up already, think now versus think later. I NEED him to make me slow down and he NEEDS me to charge him up.
Those close to me will tell you I am allergic to stupid, intolerant to ignorant and start convulsing in the presence of anyone who flashes material things as a substitute for substance and as for cocky people, erm do they even exist cos as for me I totally ignore them. I have seen my husband wince and gulp as I open my mouth in public as he never knows what his opinionated big mouth wife is gonna come out with but I tell him I’ll never embarrass him to the point he’ll have to relocate! I will though speak the truth and not bow to nonsense. I’ve got 36 yrs and change on the clock and surely by now I’ve earned my right to stand for what I believe.
The fact is I was raised without a dad. No super male influence guiding and leading our ship. My childhood home with 4 girls, 2 boys and a mama was seriously female dominated. We ran the world before Beyoncè could walk. Tough, female pit bulls who fought for everything. As a child I was a geek, quietly creative with my head always in a book. But as I grew I latched onto my older sisters, these fiery and fierce, fun loving, fabulous females were my sheroes. In no time at all I had chucked away my free NHS specs, un braided my compulsory Pentecostal church girl plantation style corn rows, bought 4 bags of blonde hair and I was off! Boy did we sisters have fun!
So here in lies the problemo. My hubby got a girl that was raised old school so knew how to be polite, respect elders, and all that making of a good wife stuff but once he scratched a few of my layers I know he was thinking ‘ancestors please help me’ -this girl is cray-zee!
I tell him you knew what I was like I mean I was a black girl with big blonde hair and purple eye shadow when you met me at 17. What kind of personality did you think I’d have. Duh. Cue a decade later when we began dating nothing much had changed apart from now after all I’d gone through I was now an angry bird too. Poor Godfrey.
Don’t get it twisted my hubby plays the suited and booted man about town but back in the day he thought he was an MC! An MC, petty criminal spitting into the mic at raves wearing gold chains, rings and earrings!! Me and our daughters roll around laughing at just the thought. Daddy aka malteser head could never have been ‘down like that’! Please may that period NEVER return. *cringe*. l like him straight laced.
So I say my husband REALLY loves me not in a profound statement like way (that would be annoying) but simply because I know loving me at times hasn’t been easy. I came with too much baggage. I defended my hardened heart till only his love could melt the barricades from past relationships. I stepped on his toes and didn’t know when to stop being the boss. It was how I was raised. I was never anybody’s princess and it was hard to suddenly start wearing this crown and pageant smile while being loved passionately by this man who loved me for me for the first time in my life.
So yeah he loves me and I love him. I needed every talk down and white flag waving moment we’ve shared. I needed to surrender control and stop being afraid. He is the tough one not by way of noise and bravado but by resolve, patience and integrity. My hubby has taught this lipstick wearing Pit Bull a lot.
So yeah. I am Mrs V Torto. New and improved. Miss V Pope thankfully left the building taking her blonde tresses, purple eyeshadow and issues with her!!!! #girlbye
As always V…😘