The club: Man search?

It’s Friday! Or Fri Yay as it’s being called these days. The day when the working week is done, the school run, 9-5 hustle, college and uni lectures and rush hour traffic can now all be packed away into the week that was. The weekend has arrived! 

Back in the day I worked in Topshop as a Faith shoes manager. I was young and free, earning my money and I absolutely lived for Friday’s. In retail however, Saturday was not a day off. That didn’t matter though I’d done many a shift on no sleep with my head still thumping from the bass of the night before. Laughing to myself as I reminisced on last night’s events. Oh the laughter and escapades of me and my crew (now known as squad!)

You see every night out was a time to act, to dress up, be who you wanted to be for a moment. You could play a role according to what song was being played while you sashayed around in the latest high street fashions, spending money you should have been saving all for fun – a release and maybe to catch the eye of the opposite sex. 

No, not me I hear some say. I was all about girl time, having fun with the ladies. But let’s be honest. The perfume, the cleavage, the legs and thighs on show was not for your chicas. They were there in my bedroom hours before when we were listening to choiceFM chugging on wine and Smirnoff Ice. Some of us still wearing headscarves until the last possible minute, sharing make up and bonding tracks of weave onto our hair. If it was all about them we could have just stayed in catching jokes in our pjs. 

There is, was and always will be a desire and yearning to meet up, interact and connect with the opposite sex. It is necessary. IT’S NATURAL. I just know that on reflection of my youth a lot of us got it wrong and if I dare say it some of us are still getting it wrong. 

I look at the young queens of today, the me of yesterday. Not the ones with their heads screwed on, confident, focused and determined to get ahead by way of brain matter. No, I look at the ones still trying to work out who they are, still looking for that man who is going to ‘save’ them who truly think their value and future success is tied up in this man and who think the way to entice him is to put all the body matter on show and give it away for free test drives. My heart aches for these queens. I know that struggle. 

Young lady if you are out tonight looking for that ‘saviour’ don’t be naive. Ask yourself whether you need to show so much flesh. Ask yourself if you even need to be going to such a place. Ask yourself if there are more beneficial things your money could be going on. 

That guy that will whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you slow dance together, who will place his hands on curves that only your husband should be able to navigate. IS NOT THE ONE. Why is he rubbing on you. Do you know him? 

I used to feel powerful in the club. Men were so easily impressed by a little flesh and a freshly made up face but who was I kidding. The joke was on me. Because somehow after the night was over with numbers exchanged. The shift of power would eventually take place and now as we both stared at the phone wondering who would call first. The game that only made victims had begun. 

Needy women make mistakes. Predatory men looking for an easy non committed ride can spot them a mile off. 

One day I saw it for all it was- the WORLD with its parties, promiscuity, alcoholism, STD’s and live for now attitude. It’s promises of popularity and street credibility, ride or die friends and men telling you what you wanted to hear was the biggest, fattest lie ever told. It only created victims and I was tired of being one. 

It wasn’t a sudden revelation. Life just made it happen but I hope that by me sharing some stuff. The young queens of today will get it a lot faster than I did and with a lot less baggage. 
V 😘


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