Behind to be ahead (somewhere)!

So ladies, how we all doing? Lately I’ve been feeling so behind with so many deadlines and though operating in the now, subconsciously I’ve been in a constant state of panic as hours turn into days and my to do list languishes incomplete.

This past week has seen all four of our kids get ill at some point, so cue sleepless nights, getting vomited on, way more washing and even more cuddles, which are lovely but not when you are in the middle of seasoning a whole chicken 😩. Even the GP made a joke saying didn’t I see you already this week, scratching his head..I was like before you try and refer me for Munchausen’s syndrome evaluation lemme just explain that you saw another kid last time (and the time before!) and me the other day for my own problems! *don’t come for me doc!*πŸ˜‚

Point of this post….Well although I have been failing to complete as much as I’d have liked to beyond home duties, which has left me frustrated, anxious and downright vex I had to take stock and realise where I’ve been absolutely smashing it! Where I’ve excelled, where I have aced it and where I’ve been queening and that’s been at my motherhood! πŸ’ͺ🏾

Ladies we can’t be everything all at the same time. I’ve written about spinning plates loads of times and where you are BEHIND in one area take a look at your situation and realise it probably means you were AHEAD somewhere else. That somewhere else may not have been first on your list but trust me it’s where you were needed most.

So be encouraged that to be behind normally indicates you are ahead (somewhere!πŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ˜‰). Don’t beat yourself up. Go with the flow and it will all work out. Something’s are just going to have to wait or be shelved completely and that ok because things change and what needs to come first, MUST come first. In my case mumlife! πŸ‘§πŸΎπŸ‘§πŸΎπŸ‘¦πŸΎπŸ‘ΆπŸΎπŸ˜πŸ€§πŸ˜·πŸ€’

HappySunday, as always V 😘

…A Stale Perfect

Remember when our love was a scandal. Remember the first time I beat the odds and got pregnant. Remember you told me I would. Remember when my divorce papers finally came through. Remember that dodgy blow up bed. Remember when we nearly lost you. Remember when the scan showed it was a boy! Remember when I hated you. Remember when you doubted me. Remember when we knew it was real… remember when we proved them wrong.

Relationships are so complex. They rely on two people, coming together. Full of every memory, habit, experience, doctrine and issues they’ve ever carried. You are expected to dwell inside a love that is meant to bypass all that has already been said and done in your life then together you create more memories, experiences, more habits, dramas and joys and that love is still expected to grow and accommodate it all!

No matter what you ‘see’ in other couples never ever be duped into comparing your set up to theirs. You can come for me in the comments but no one can tell me their marriage/ relationships etc are “GOAL” worthy everyday. If that is the case something ain’t right because just to exist in this life is pain some days, joy some days, disaster some days and triumphs some days. That’s how you know you are living- you FEEL and then ultimately grow.

All relationships at times are more EastEnders than The Cosby show! That’s a fact. That’s real talk. Set realistic goals and don’t compare. Everything you’ve ever gone through together makes for beautiful, colourful, hilarious, affirming stories of how your love is the bomb because it has weathered every storm and won. Who wants a stale perfect that breaks at a whisper..

Love ya…As always … V 😘

I said No!

The woman who was told she couldn’t have kids saw her third born run into school today! *happy tears*

I can’t take credit for overcoming endometriosis and defying the odds of my prognosis.

But what I can take credit for is my rejection of that fate. Oh the process hurt, it ached every time someone said they were pregnant and I had to be happy for them as a little piece of me died inside. But I WANTED kids so I began to fight. I went to the shops and bought two outfits one pink and one blue. I TOLD endometriosis that my firstborn child would wear one of those outfits …. and they did!!! πŸ’–

Life will say no to you a lot. You don’t have to accept it.

As always V… thinking out loud! 😘

Happiness is…

Happiness is…

Sitting on the sofa, remote in hand, with a beverage of choice and soft blanket thrown over your legs.

Happiness is getting the children to bed before 8pm and spending quality time with your spouse.

Happiness is sending your child to school anxious about something and picking them up face beaming, skipping without a care in the world.

Happiness is getting the ‘all clear’

Happiness is knowing God is rooting for you.

Happiness is knowing you alone are

whole and everything else is a bonus.

Happiness is knowing that a full heart is better than a full wallet.

Happiness is freedom to be you.

Happiness is bringing home a brand new baby.

Happiness is accepting that God made no mistakes with you.

Happiness is a dogs wagging tail.

Happiness is getting a parking space on the school run.

Happiness is children’s laughter.

Happiness cannot be bought.

Happiness is your passport to long life. Never let it expire.

As always V 😘

The Tribe’s Cyprus review.

So that’s it for our summer hols. 8 days of super sized summer days. 6 members of one family enjoying sea views, glorious sunsets and memories that will last a lifetime.

Having had 4 children in quick succession, holidays in recent years have seen us navigating the English coast and country side. The hubby travels with the business but as for me it seemed as if I was either pregnant, just given birth, breastfeeding on demand or ‘holiday money’ had been ploughed elsewhere – more kids have meant bigger and more of every thing else so financially we had to be wise too. We are also not a credit family either so each year Staycations just worked for us and are always extremely enjoyed if I’m honest, there was never any pressure on us or rush to jump on a plane. Just been living by our mantra of ‘everything in it’s time’ and It’s been a great place to exist!

Having family abroad in west Africa, the Caribbean, Europe and Australia we knew the tribe would have to take to the skies eventually …. the question was never if more of when!

Well August 2017 it was decided that we’d take to the skies and choose a destination that was close enough to home for such a young family but also far enough that we’d really ‘feel’ that we were ABROAD! Cyprus.. Limassol to be exact was chosen as our first trip abroad as a tribe of 6!

So how did it all work out!?!

Well….

As is expected the first thing that caused me sleepless nights was the packing, the thought of it AND the fear of it. What if I forgot something really important. What if I under packed and spent the holiday hand washing in the hotel bath room sink! Aghhhh hell no! Kids and husbands spill things, therefore I intended to be one step ahead and pack for ALL eventualities, spillages, explosive nappies, hands being wiped on clothes when I’m not looking ( my son) and with my girls and their make up experimentation sometimes their clothes are wearing more lipgloss and sparkly nail polish than their hands and faces!!! So did of I over packed? HELL YES!! Racking up a total luggage count of 3 large suitcases, 3 small suitcases 4 back packs and a pushchair! To say I had everything but the kitchen sink was an understatement but I had us COVERED!

Hello Cyprus, Cypriots, Greeks and Russians and C A T S!!!

Now we live in Isleworth, so we are used to being the minority… and when I say minority I mean as in black and ethnic…you know sometimes the only blacks at an event or at kids parties etc but nothing quite prepared us for this! The hotel staff made up mainly of Cypriots were warm, happy to help in every way and didn’t do a double take when they saw us. Possibly due to the nature of their jobs in tourism and being used to the influx of ‘foreigners’ of all types. However the locals at the mall 20 mins away actually nudged each other as we passed by them. Some smiled and commented at the ‘cute kids’ whom with their dark skin, colourful beaded hair and matching bows were somewhat of a rare sight I still found the experience uncomfortable and longed for my usual stroll around Westfield with my tribe blending into the beautiful, diverse myriad of creeds, colours and cultures.

You really don’t know what you’ve got till its gone! Even if only for 8 days.

I ❀️ London.

I cannot make a blanket statement to describe the stance towards black people for all Russians but I can say with those that stayed at the beautiful GrandResort (making up the majority of non local guests) they matched their homeland with their coldness and happiness just to spectate at our blackness as if it offended them in someway. No smiles, no warmth. Just rude, suggestive stares.

I was in vacay mode and once again although it vexed me I willed the sun to darken me further for their visual benefit as I strutted proudly and determined to not let my kids pick up on it.

Now it’s time to talk about the cats. In three words. I HATE CATS. It’s a mixture of distrust towards their sneaky eyes, irrational fear of their ability to move and meander around you un noticed and their joy at bringing ‘kills’ into homes! Like you have to be kidding me. Make some noise will you and stop being so damn crafty. I was raised alongside 5 siblings and 2 dogs so I’m a dog lover all the way. I think you know where you stand with dogs. (Disclaimer – my love for dogs excludes Staffordshire bull terriers, pit bulls, Dobermans and Rottweilers- basically any dog that can eat me!)

Limassol was heaving with cats also known locally as vermin due to the sheer uncontrolled numbers. They are wild, free, young, old, huge, little and HUNGRY! Having 3 cats approach our table one evening was tantamount to a quick trip to hell for me. I made sounds as if the first contractions of labour had started and threatened them in the same way I did my

husband during the really intense ones!

If truth be known I’d have probably steered clear of sunny Cyprus also known as ‘The Land of Cats’ had I have known about the cats, the amount of cats and the boldness of aforementioned cats. Had I however done that based on this irrational fear I have I would have missed out on a wonderful experience. So let’s say ignorance is bliss until it’s beside your legs purring!

So what did I learn travelling with 4 children.

1) Start packing early, like up to a week before. You’ll then have time to reevaluate if you’re over packing and take things out before you finally leave. Less rush and panic.

2) I made sure I travelled with snacks. I purposely filled a small case with only foodstuffs and drink cartons. My husband thought I was over doing it but oh how it saved us money and provided an empty suitcase for the return which was perfect for souvenirs and dirty laundry over spill.

3) Buy baby food stuffs after you’ve checked in and before you board! There’s always a Boots! The security (especially UK) to check through bottles and purΓ©ed pouches is a lengthy procedure. Save yourself the hassle!

4) Bring activities like colouring books and pencils. Their favourite book will also work a treat. For my 3 year old I also brought him stickers. This entertained the kids on the plane and in the wind down hour before bed. You need variety outside of their tablets. Right?

So would we return? … yes! Did we enjoy it?…yes! Was it an experience worth waiting for?… yes indeed!

Cyprus thank you for meeting us on the other side of the sky.

Thank you for your warm rays that kissed the concrete jungle goodbye.

Cyprus within all your sunsets I began to sing.

Thank you for the memories new, fresh experiences. Thank you for everything.

As always… V 😘