It’s ok… it’s real.Β 

As women the pressure to be gorgeous, amazing Mary Poppins home makers, perfectly calm mothers and fabulous sexy wives is driving many to depression and despair hiding behind make up and a smile when sometimes they just want to say ‘HELP’!!! πŸ™‹πŸ½

How are you friends ask? “I’m fine”, is your reply. But inside you’re screaming. πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. After the birth of my third child, I actually thought I was losing it. I was stood doing washing one afternoon and next minute I was on the floor… hubby had to run over scoop me up and lay me on the sofa. I was not making much sense- but translated- I was simply saying. I CAN’T DO THIS πŸ˜“. But I got through because I let my inner pain be known. I had to step back, take my foot off the gas and remind myself I’m only human. Superwomen need days off too. Staying happy and sane is more important than making a lasagne from scratch. 

Well here’s V with your quick reminder. HELP IS NOT A DIRTY WORD! USE IT MAMA! ❀️ #MaternalMHMatters #womenshealth

Your flow …

Sometimes we’re sure and sometimes we’re not. We’re only human after all. Striking a confident pose one minute, then self consciously checking our reflection moments later. Doubting ourselves, our worth, our progress. 

If only I was this, if only I had that. Forgetting to be grateful remembering that you are already ‘great’ and ‘full’. Ask yourself what you need, you may be stumped after a few suggestions but ask yourself what you want and you may need a moment as you fill page after page with your fleshy list of desires. 

I couldn’t have kids.. then I could. I’ve been married… then divorced… I was building my own business…then I gave it up. Life is constantly evolving and changing. Go with the flow… No! Go with YOUR flow and be careful what you wish for, especially if you want it for the wrong reasons. God may just allow it to teach you a life lesson. They often hurt by the way…

V 😘

Bury the old…

Easter for me always brings back memories of my wedding day. We got married the Thursday before Good Friday in 2012. For me the fact it was Easter week just cemented the sense of it being a new start. All the rubbish, the drama, the delay, the frustration, the disobedience, the hurt, the pain, the negativity and worry had been buried sealed in a grave of yesterday and now we were stepping out as husband and wife, brand new, now two had truly become one. I couldn’t moan anymore that we weren’t married, I wasn’t pre occupied with what church folk were saying anymore. We were starting a new life as my second child’s life grew within me. .

In life sometimes, something has to die before something new can live. Something causing you pain needs to be buried before you can walk in newness and in your purpose. Who are you desperate to be but your current situation just won’t allow it, it just won’t let you be great. You alone know the answer to that. Well it’s time to identify it and leave it behind. Your new life is waiting for you and believe me it’s gonna be awesome (if you can just make room for it)!

Happy Easter to you ALL…V 😘

Walk.Β 

Why is it taking you so long to walk away? That’s my only regret in life – that I did not walk away sooner. Do you realise those days are soon months are soon years… and THE BEST PART is that same thing you knew after 6 months is normally the same thing that eventually makes you leave 5 years later!

I don’t obviously know your situation but can I just assure you, he is not the only one that will ‘fit’ you. He is not the only man that will make you laugh, get your sense of humour or share your dreams. Don’t get stuck because you’re scared of the unknown, don’t settle because you’re scared to be single. What is wrong with being single!!!!! My quest to not be single is what screwed up my life over and over again. Let’s say I was better at choosing outfits than partners!

I should have simply walked but pride didn’t want me to give up or seem as though I had failed. I was consumed by what people would say and didn’t want to give them any ‘tea’ β˜•οΈπŸ‘°πŸΎπŸ‘€… but eventually when it all unravelled I gave out so many cups of tea with the drama that followed, best I had just walked away sooner. 

Why are you staying? Are you a Christian and married- scared of divorce? Don’t be, get good counsel from a leader and seek God. You have not committed a crime so should not be condemned to a life of misery in an unhappy marriage ESPECIALLY if there’s abuse of any kind. Turning up on a Sunday together knowing well he’s the devil in disguise – WALK AWAY. I now have a marriage that is blessed and fruitful. My mama said she’s married to Jesus! That’s up to her… I wanted to try again. #differentgeneration 

Are you engaged or going down that route but are already seeing ‘red flags’β›³οΈπŸ˜³Please, please if you are switched on enough to see them before you say I do, then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! πŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈ. You will get over it and when you are enjoying your singleness, focusing on yourself, living life you’ll be singing hallelujah! If and when the right partner comes along along after that season, trust me. You will KNOW the difference. πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™ŒπŸΎ… Happy Sunday from your girl…. V 😘

It’s up to you.Β 

Don’t blame others. Be your own PR. Be true to yourself. Take responsibility. Reflect OFTEN. Be adaptable. Have a plan. Be intentional. 

I’ve been shaped by MANY things, been Influenced and pressured into MANY things but ultimately I AM responsible. I MUST take charge. Those of us who are Christians or other monotheistic believers often find it hard saying I’M IN CHARGE we fear that it appears to be denouncing the role of God and implies we are somehow lacking reverence to the almighty by getting above our station. BUT. God is my father who is IN ME. He’s my friend, my teacher, my guard, my fortress, my defence, my comfort, my hope and like any father he hopes that what he has instilled in me will be enough that I can make my own decisions boldly and with clarity because it is he who orders my steps. He is ultimately all up in my business, all up in my heart, working it all out for my good cheering me on to be ALL what he created me to be. Not to keep looking back for that permission slip but just to get on with it already! 

Be bold. Own it. Step out. Put GOD into practice. You are entirely up to YOU. 

Happy Sunday … V 😘